I once heard

That if you repeat something enough times

It loses its meaning

And before i heard it

I knew the principal

But never put it into words

 

And in my silent, dark room I repeated:

Dumbass, dumbass, dumbass, dumbass,

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid,

Bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch

And any other insult i could think of

So they would not wound me in battle

 

And with enough repetition they were nothing

Except maybe a clear fact in my head

I was nothing

I was a bitch

I was a dumbass

And I was stupid

 

There was also no doubt in my mind

That i deserved to be called that

So i kept repeating more until it became nothing

I kept repeating more until it too became a fact

And then i stepped back from the girl i created.

 

She was tough when it came to others

But so weak on the inside one word could make her topple over.

She was secluded.

 

I wanted to help her

So i let her out of her iron, emotional cage

Not realizing the scars she had

From trying to get out

And released her into the world

 

But she was too wounded to know what to do

And would try to be herself

But would always remember her cage

And on certain nights even though she was grateful to be out,

She wanted to go back into the confinement

Afterall, everything she heard in there was a fact.