Ready, Set... Woah


United Kingdom
55° 22' 40.9836" N, 3° 26' 9.5028" W

I once read that you can either be courageous or comfortable, but not both at the same time... I guess I'm just hoping that the courage will set in later.I'm trading in my ease and content with every day life for the unknown - for traveling and studying. For service and knowledge. For understanding and culture.But what if I don't find the same love and friendship that I found here? What if I'm trading the afternoon IHOP, Starbucks, barbecue, and pet store runs for sitting in a dorm alone? What if I'm trading in loving hugs, snugs, and bunny kisses for two years of loneliness?I know these fears will be washed away when I meet 349 friendly faces on the castle ground on August 17th, but for right now, they're swimming in my head and waking me up at two in the morning to daunt me about my decisions. I know it'll all be worth it. Deep down, I know that I'll have the greatest time of my life in a castle in a country I've never explored or even stepped foot in. But right now, I feel like I've started a race, and I can see the starting and finish lines, but the middle is a jumbled mess of uncertainty that'll take me two years to sort through. Don't get me wrong, I'm more excited than I've ever been before, but for me to really enjoy this entire process, I have to kiss and passenger who's been riding with me for as long as I can remember goodbye. The passenger who sits on my shoulder and whispers sweet nothings of, "You'll never be good enough to compare to the prodigies you're going to school with," and "Do you really think you'll make friends there?" in my ear. But, when I get off the plane to Wales in August, my anxiety won't be coming along for the ride. That passenger didn't complete a long, soulful application and stay up practicing for two interviews to get an acceptance letter. I did. And I choose courage.

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