You make me happy when skies are grey.

And even when they’re not.

 

Because we are taught

That things are conditional.

I’ll do this,

If you do that.

 

For some reason we struggle

To teach kids the importance of giving.     

We must relearn how to do acts out of pure kindness,

And not expect anything out of return.

 

For some reason we brainwash our

young minds into thinking

That all things have a value.

But the problem is,

where there is value,

there is also a cost.

 

So happiness has a cost.

Learning has a cost.

and creativity especially

has a cost.

 

We must work to make our

Lives

          Bodies

                      Actions

                                   Thoughts

Worth something.

We learn to devote our whole lives to this.

 

We continually ask the question,

So what.

Why do I care.

Why should I care.

 

But I am sitting in a classroom.

Drawing and writing the elements of my

Raw, unfiltered, uncensored

Self.

And I am told

Put that away. 

Not now. 

Not time for that.

 

But you don’t know me,

You don’t know why I draw.

You don't know why I write.

And I know you won’t understand,

But these raw, unfiltered, uncensored

Thoughts

Must make it onto paper.

They will destroy me if they don’t.

 

But that doesn’t matter,

Because apparently I am not enough.

I am not enough

I am not enough.

 

It is not enough that I am a miracle in itself.

Apparently, it does not matter that I am the product

Of my parents’

raw, unfiltered, uncensored

Love.

 

But this is why I write,

Because though the transfer of these jumbled

Words

           Phrases

                       Thoughts

                                      Ideas

Might not make sense to you,

Might not matter to you,

I have finally gotten to a place where I do not need to worry whether or not there is value.

 

Over these words,

You don’t have the power to tell me whether or not I am worthy.

 

I know I am.

 

These words are for me.

a worthy product

of my own

raw, unfiltered, uncensored,

thoughts.

 

So am I finally worthy?

Yeah.

I know I am.