Why am I hurting myself?
Mental damage feels worse than physical damage
And I keep going at it.
I beat myself up everyday.
‘Why didn’t I do that?’
‘Why did I react that way?’
‘Now that person thinks I’m a freak.’
‘This doesn’t look good.’
‘Why are they staring at me?’
‘Are people looking at my funny?’
‘I know they don’t like me.’
‘Why am I so into things I won’t fit in?’
‘Why am I here?’
‘I don’t contribute to anything.’
‘Am I doing something wrong?’
‘I know I’m doing something wrong.’
‘I’m too big to do that.’
‘I have man hands.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Is this right?’
‘What do they think of me?’
‘Am I too quiet?’
‘Why am I always slouched over?’
‘Now they think I don’t have confidence’
‘Are they expecting me to fall into a stereotypical role?’
I hate this.
Why am I here?
WHY am I HERE?
HOW and WHEN did I get HERE,
To this point where I give up?