This is not a ode to love in the verity that you may think.
I do not dream of what the feeling of your lips would be on mine,
or if our bodies would fit perfectly together.
Instead I think of the stories I could tell at your wedding
and you at mine,
the adventures we could dream up
or the days where we do nothing but we're never bored
because how could we be
in the presence of each other?
My nightmares are of memories of the verbal grenades
hurled back and forth at each other,
each ignited with anger and exploding with their own
terribly untrue words not meant.
When you tell me you don't want to hear it
so my ink stained fingers bleed apologetic words onto a page
because you said hear not read
and maybe the ink can make the words look prettier
then my shaky tearful voice can make them sound.
I want nothing more than to tell you how I feel,
how often the loneliness creeps in to fill the void your absence has left
when you return it feels like you have brought with you the summer sun
to chase away this endlessly cold winter darkness.
Flowers grow in my footsteps toward you because the warmth of your presence
has allowed beauty to grow in mine.
It chases away the weeds wrapped around my heart
and lets lilies grow in their place.
So yes, I love you with all my heart
but never in the romantic way a girl is through to love a boy.
This is not the friend zone or any other
terrible metaphorical place that a girl can place a boy
she is friends with.
This is the place in my heart between my older brother
and the girls I call sister though
we were born months apart to different mothers in different places.
Where I want you to wipe away my tears
and to hug you when you're too much of a "man" to asked to be hugged
but I can see it in your eyes,
that same look I see so often in the mirror
moments after I have to force myself to roll out of my bed
after a long night of demons and nightmares.
This me loving you so innocently
and in the simplest way I know.
The way a child loves another
before there is such thing as attraction or romance,
before the thought of kissing someone was appealing
and there is only just pure in essence love.
This is not a traditional ode to love,
this is not a love struck school girls poem to her crush
and most certainly not a romantic gesture in anyway.
There is no lust behind my words
or any hint of attraction behind my feelings.
This is a poem about friendship,
the simplest and purest form of love I have ever known.
Because friendships are not predestined
or biologically predisposed.
There is no part of you that is attracted to this person
because you would make offspring
that would survive the best and pass on your genes.
Friendship is a type of love that is a choice, and I chose you.