It’s back.

You can sense the recurrent feeling

Of regret starting to boil in your belly

as she pulls away and looks at you

With sad eyes. The same eyes that

Were smiling at you just moments

Earlier. You always manage to screw

Things up, don’t you? As soon as you

Did it you wished you hadn’t. And for

The life of you, you can’t figure out why

You did it in the first place. But that’s always

The story, isn’t it? Every time you  don’t

Know why, and every time you apologize

And promise it won’t happen again. But

‘I’m sorry’ means less and less every time

You say the words. You wish you could go

Back and undo it more with every second

As you hear her tell you ‘it’s okay’ in a voice

That says it’s really not. You hate yourself.

Why can’t you treat her better? You say you will.

You want to. So why don’t you be what she deserves?

You want to be. You try so hard to be. But you

Always fall short, don’t you? And the reality that

You’ll never live up to what she needs keeps you

Awake at night and makes the cut that much deeper

When she starts to notice it, too. You’re losing her

And you know it. So you do everything you can to

keep her as long as possible, but everything you do

Seems to push her farther away. You wonder if you’re

Trying too hard, or if you’re just fighting an ultimately

Losing battle. But none of that matters. You love her.

You love her with all your heart and you’re not going

To let her down again. You’ll do better from now on.

You won’t hurt her anymore… At least you’ll try…