our love
there was a moment
a weak, broken moment
where I wanted us to end
not because I didn't love you
not because you weren't exactly what I needed
not because I wasn't happy
but because of who I am
because I am scared to let you close to me
because what if you really see
how much control I need to feel free
how true freedom scares me
and choices make me nervous
not on most days though
most days I'm me
but you don't know my bad days
you don't know my rock bottom
my hopeless days
when I can't seem to look up
or even next to me
and what if then I am too much for you
if I've accidentally hidden myself from you
and you can't love me
a monstrosity
but I pushed that moment to the back
and I said all I can ever be is me
and i love you so much
so I put it in perspective
there is no version of you I couldn't love
no fault to great
no bad habit too bad
because I love everything about you and the things I don't know of
well I love them too
and I have to hope that you love me the same
and I have to let go of all the control
and everything I know
because love isn't control
and it's not my decision
but it's ours
and it's God's
and it's beautiful even when it's in shambles, because it can be rescued
and it can be shared