One day you’re 5

and life is carefree and magical

a smile never leaves your face

one day you’re 10 

and the whole world shines for you

like a glittering rainbow of possibilities

one day you’re 11 

and you try so hard to fit in

but it never seems to be enough

one day you’re 12

and a blade slices your wrist so often

and the school suspensions never stop coming

one day you’re 13

and the suicide attempts occur daily

and 3 bottle of pills enter your stomach

even after you survive you want to die

still receiving anonymous comments

which tell you to “try a gun” or “actually do it next time”

and soon two others follow your lead

I always knew I was a leader 

but how could I lead others into the dark

how could I allow anyone else to make my mistakes

one day you’re 14

and school seems pointless

and you can’t show up without wanting to be dead

so you leave and find happiness in a fresh start 

one day you’re almost 15

and you hear the news

you hear a sweet boy you knew 

at age 14 

has ended his life with a bullet

and you cry

a year after the pills

was it my fault?

was it my lead?

how does the heart of a younger sister or a mother even repair from this?

one day you’re 16

you have a 4.5 Gpa

you participate in 14 extracurricular activities

you run a club dedicated to suicide prevention

and you realize those pills never killed you because you were too strong

you have to be here

you have a purpose

you will change the world.

one day you’re 16 

a girl you knew 

a smart beautiful girl age 16

has lost a battle to suicide

and you scream

because you could’ve been there

but she didn’t reach for help

how could you have known?

then one day becomes today

and you are determined to help

encourage those who are fearful

you have support

you have a whole world here on your side

there is a light at the end of the tunnel

reach out and speak up…don’t be afraid