Numb

One word and I’m all yours

But you don’t even know it

Bring on these confusing thoughts

And how I know I’m getting ahead of myself once more

I think of a future

Even though our friendship has just begun

It’s just an act of kindness

It always has been

How close you get doesn’t matter

How playful you get is just a game

Yet I can’t help but bring my hopes up

And that’s what hurts the most

You see I’ve been in this state before

Many, many times

You and the others have come along

And I’m attracted in some way

His heart is pure gold

His eyes are the deepest moss green

Your gestures are not obscene

Everything pulls me in like a trap

Every time I try to get out it doesn’t work

That song plays and I’m stuck

It replays in my ears like a joke

One day when I admit this to you

Or to the next one that crosses my path

I want you to help me

Because this habit has got to stop

You’re not mine to mess with

We aren’t even anything

Yet

And yet I feel a connection in your absence

Meaning there is nothing there at all

I can go along with it and have fun

But what will happen in the end?

What will happen when it ends?

And I find another

And you find someone new

There I go again in swiftness

Getting lost by my own thoughts and uncertainty

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