That is Not My Name
Dear mom,
I am sorry for what I have put you through.
For not being your ideal daughter.
For not fulfilling what is asked of me
As a white, American girl.
And For not making it easier on you.
I am sorry for making you justify the choices of your child to others.
Dear friends,
I am sorry for pulling you into my whirlwind.
For making you that gay girl’s best friend.
For making that uncomfortable silence when I first came out,
And making your lives a bit more complicated.
And Thank you for being so understanding.
Your friendship has meant the world to me.
Dear ex-girlfriend,
I’m sorry I was too afraid of the stares, the whispers, the hatred.
And I am sorry for you being such a bitch about it.
But I thank you,
I thank you for helping me get to where I am.
For letting me be loved by the girl who has planted the seed that gave my body the life you took from it.
Dear closet girl,
Surrounded by all the words of hate
By the perception that you won't be accepted. That you can't be loved.
That no one will be there.
You can do it!!!
Don't mind the stares.
Dear people staring at us as we walk down the hall,
I am sorry if I make you uncomfortable,
You don't have to look.
So please mind your own damn business.
Dear straight girls who think I’m in love with you,
I’m not.
You in no way whatsoever live up to my standards.
I’m sorry to break it to you, hunny,
But not everyone is in love with you.
Dear high-school dance chaperone,
Why not the four hetero-couples?
Why not the men groping girls
Sending a shudder of disgust up their spine
Why us?
kicking us out of the dance won’t do you any good.
Dear guys,
No amount of inappropriate pictures of your mediocre ‘package’ can change me.
So, stop trying to “turn me straight”.
Stop trying be bend me into your sexualized perception of what YOU think that I am supposed to be.
I am sorry if it bursts your ego,
But I am not here for your satisfaction.
And dear societal standards,
Stop just calling me Lesbian
That is not my name.
That is NOT my name.