I've been blind

I've been blinded

I've been so blind that I can't see the signs 

I don't notice the signals 

I don't know what you want

Hell I don't even know what I want 

How can I know when I'm so blind?

 

I can't even tell what's in front of me  

I get distracted with the first thing that catches my attention

Never stopping to think what the consequences might be 

 

I want to live my life but fall victim to the demons

Sometimes I find myself asking why am I breathing?

For what reason do I live? 

What is my gift ? 

I don't know what to do

And for some reason I'm fine with it

I'm fine with being lost 

Because whatever happens happens

 

I know responsibility

I take blame for my actions 

But I act as tho my actions are not my own

It probably wasn't..... 

too busy following the lives of others

I'm not proud of everything I've done

But I just want to please my mother

I can't please my mother without pleasing myself

But how can I do that when I don't know what puts me at peace

I'm never at ease

Head filled with thoughts that buzz like bees

Thoughts of suicide, thoughts of overwhelming pride, thoughts of lack of confidence, thoughts that drove my mind to the edge

I felt so alone but was so blind that I couldn't look up

I couldn't even look next to me

Not even at my loved ones cuz it felt like everyone was my enemy

 

 

I've been blind for so long, for so long

I just want to see what you see 

A chosen one 

A chosen sun

But I don't even understand why me

 

But the truth, the truth

The truth  was so bright that I let it blind me 

The truth made me afraid

I tied a blindfold over my eyes and thought I was safe 

But something told me to remove that rag from my face

Light shed on my family 

And how I'm blocked them out from knowing me and giving them doubts

How I would turn up

I even doubted myself

 

But when I removed the blindfold 

The light was filled so much beauty

I realized that I can't let my own thoughts reduce me

Life is not just about self

Or else we'd all be alone

It's about making a difference with whatever you own 

All you own is your soul

So don't you let go 

Keep your control

Do right for your sake

God will show you the way 

The world isn't the best place

Its only the first

You don't know where you'll end up

Above, below, or even the ETA

So you might as well make the most of today

trust God, have faith, 

don't let go 

Don't ever let go

Don't you ever let go

Unless you let God 

 

I'm no longer blind

I look out for the signs

And stand firm to my faith

If you feel ill towards me

I hope that pain is healed cuz I refuse to let any negativity into my shield

Nothing will stop me

Or me push me to the point

To where I'd rather be blind 

Cuz even when your blind 

It's hard to hear Gods voice