I've been lost for a long time. Not emotionally lost or anything gay like that, but the end of High School was flying towards me like a brick wall and I still didn't know what the hell I was planning on doing with my life. I couldn't figuire out how everyone else decided. My friend wanted to be a computer programmer, another an engineer and the third a pharmacist. How the hell do you decide you want to be a pharmacist? Maybe he liked drugs or something I don't know, but anyway everyone around me had their lives planned out and I was just sitting here like a blank peice of paper with no one to draw on it. I had wanted to be an astronaut at the beginning of high school. That was my plan for awhile until NASA decided they were done going to the moon, and let's be honest, why would you become an astronaut for any other reason that to go to the moon? So that plan got nixed and I was left hurtling towards the ground with no parachute while everyone else around me slowly built theirs from scrap. I had no idea how to build this metaphorical parachute and I was running out of time!

Then is happened. I was given the task of designing a T-shirt for my school's UIL competitors. I took graphic design and I knew my way around illustrator, so i did it. No big deal. Got to skip some boring classwork and have fun for a little while. I made it in one day, and it looked good. I would even go as far to say I was proud of it, but that was the end of it. I never thought about it after that day. Just a little bit of work, then everything was back to normal. Fastforward a few weeks, I'm in class and I see someone wearing MY shirt. The shirt that I designed. Something happened inside of me. Something I had never felt before. A new emotion that I couldn't name. A fire was lit inside and I finally understood it. 

I've always hated math, doing the same shit in different ways. Stuff that has been done a hundred billion times before by a hundred billion people. That's lame. You know what I like doing? Creating. Taking an idea in my head, building it out of nothing and making it into something real, something tangeble. Watching how people react to it. These people are seeing my idea. They are looking into my brain. My very thoughts have been torn out and made for them to see. It's beautiful. It's a feeling like no other. 

Also, turns out, making 2D T-shirts is not the only thing you can create! There are these things called video games that I would go home and play every single day, and as a recent study shows there are actually real people who make these. Real people! It's a real Job! Really money and everything! So I started playing around with 3D modeling software, seeing if I was any good with it and I totally was! 

So in case you aren't following, I made something, and it felt good, then I was like, "Hey maybe I can make video games because those are awesome" So I tried that and I was good at it. I'm totally set. I have something I like and I'm good at. I finally understand how it feels for my pharmacist fried. I've got everything figuired out. I like doing this, I can make money doing it. I'm going to do it. Simple right? 

Nope! Fun Fact: The art industry is one of the most unstable industries in the world! Everyone wants to be lazy and be an artist, and as a result it's ridiculously hard to get noticed and make a name, (or money),  for yourself! 

But what can I do? I after all this time of not knowing I have finally found my passion and now I hit this roadblock. So I've decided to not worry about it! I'm just gonna do my thing, because that's all that I can do! It's my absolute passion to create. To bring my ideas into a living, breathing world, let them loose, and stand back and marvel at how everything works together. There's really no other option for me.

For once in my life I finally have something solid to work towards. Something to strive for, and I will let absolutely nothing stand in my way.

Wish me luck!