My Love, It's Messy
You say I am a decent writer
So I write this one to you
You who loves me for all of me
Not just the me that is nice and pleasant
But the me that is mean and dark and confused
The me that has so many skeletons we have regular tea parties in my messy closet
The me that sometimes wakes up hating the world
Wanting to kick the ground and scream at the sky
The me that has no idea what I want in life
Except for you, for you, I know I want you
I want you in every way
I want you there for every sunny day for every happy moment for every success
For every night of entangled human body
But I also want you for every horrible thing
Want is not right, need is more adequate
I need you for every despair, for every slip in judgement, budge in resolve, for every thought of giving up, giving in
Because without you my days are dim, and my love, my dark night's fade to an even more absolute black
Without you I am a jumbled mess of thoughts and half intentions
You give me reason
You give me strive
You give me a purpose
It is more than my heart that needs you
My eyes want to drink in the beauty of your shell
My brain wants to pick apart your complicated consciousness
My soul feels diluted when I am not in your presence.
I am not perfect, I cannot even claim to be half
But I can declare with absolute certainty that I am as close ad I ever will be when I am with you.
My love it is messy but it is true