“Make us Proud,” my family requested

“Study Hard,” my teachers commanded

“Obey the Rules,” the society admonished

“Be great,” inspirational speakers said

“Be who you are,” influencers advised

Then everyone turned and stared

At me

 

They all said, “Don’t disappoint me.” 

I was overwhelmed and distraught

“How can I please everyone?” I wondered

“I can do it,” I decided

So I spread myself thin caring to all demands

I tore myself apart pleasing others

Till I couldn’t recognize myself

 

I hated myself

I did not know who I was

I had no dreams

I was a robot stuck living someone else’s dream

I was fighting but for what?

To please

Smothering my happiness to please others

 

My greed to please had been my weapon

Until it betrayed me 

Their happiness increased my misery 

And my weapon became my enemy

My greed to please began to choke me

It wrapped around my neck 

And every time I pleased someone it’d tighten

 

I was dying because I wasn’t living

Barely surviving because I was struggling

To live in a world not created for me

I was happiest when I was asleep 

And sometimes I’d daydream 

I’d see a world, a parallel universe

One with no demands but then I’d wake

 

“What are you doing with your life? Are you happy?”

I’d ask myself when I awake from my daydream

There was never an answer

But one day, it changed

I got a reply

A soft voice asking

“Can I win?”

 

I ignored it but it kept coming back

Getting louder each time

Until I had to acknowledge it 

I answered the voice

Yelling back

“Yes, I can win”

I believe it was right then I lost my mind

 

I’m glad I did because not much after that made sense

The voice became my friend and I hers’

She told me to run

Just run

And so I did

I had no destination but I was running

Free from expectations

 

I ran too long and too far

That I lost the path the world had set for me

She said it was good that I did 

Because to find my own path I must lose my way

I was lost somewhere between an ocean and a desert

I was wandering and wondering 

“Where do I go now?”

 

There were too many paths in front of me

I had no idea which was mine

She told me to close my eyes and believe

To draw my own path and believe in it

To design my own galaxy and embroider it the way I want

To dictate my future but I didn’t know enough

It was too hard

 

She smiled and said, “I know you can do it”

I asked, “How do you know?”

She replied, “Because I exist”

“So show me,” she said

“Show me the genius that created me

Because I am you and you are me

But without you, there is no me.”

 

It was then I realized 

To win, I had to live my life

I deserved to live a life

The way I want it 

That was the first piece added to my galaxy

I had found my reason to live

Me.

 

I’m still running

Constantly pushing, crashing and crawling through the harsh conditions

Creating my galaxy 

So someday I can sit, smile 

Drink a cup of tea 

And admire the world I created

My world 

 

She said, “It’s all right to stop at times.”

But I can’t, I won’t.

I am grateful to her

She, who inspires me

Who gave me my purpose 

She, the voice in my head and the potential in my heart

She, my future.