My Friends Are Like Shadows to Me


Columbia Rd. Apt. 648
United States
38° 55' 39.0936" N, 77° 1' 56.73" W

Why do the happiest memories,
Always seem to baffle me?
Why do I feel happy,
When I destroy me?
As the blood rains down,
my eyes close.
I just want to be better,
like the rest of the shadows.
Why do my eyes close?
I thought they would be happy to look at me.

Why must the sun go?
The night is when they come.
Why do the shadows glow?
As they resonate in my mind.
Who am I?
I'm not who I used to be.

Because I used to be happy,
Now they are all I see.

Their words like my enemies,
But I can't seem to stop them hurting me.
The more I bleed the less I hurt,
The more I hear the more I yearn.
I don't want to be like this.

This isn't my choice.
I just want it to stop,
to block out the noise.
But they keep coming back,
No one can stop it.
My mirror is bad,
Nothing can stop it.
My mind is tainted,
It's like I can't breathe.
My mind is racing,
I can't even think.

Do I want to think?

The more I think the more I damage me.
The more I breathe the closer I feel to suffocating.
But I don't want to leave.
Their voices make me sink.
I don't want to leave.
The water's deep.
Don't want to leave.
The silence is deafening.
Want to leave.

But I won't.
I'll let it be.
The others don't see.
I don't want them to.
I won't let them.
Just let it be.

I'm still me.
And they are still shadows,
That I will never not see.

This poem is about: 


John Smithers

The meaning of this one is easy to understand.  But the slam that I posted it to probably won’t make sense unless I clarify.  I’ve learned from poetry you can express yourself in any way, shape, or form and say what you want.  I’ve lived in this shell of my life for awhile and I’ve just now started to get help for it.  Thank you for reading this if you do.

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