How do I describe how I feel?

In what way do I articulate the loss in my heart?

What will it take for you to understand

my smiles project sadness and my laughter cries pain?

Like a dog chasing its own tail, I fell into an awfully sweet orbit.

Forever I am remebering our future and peering into our past.

I check days off the calendar like a head turning towards gunfire: automatic. 

Each one points to the box that will someday be left alone

With the pen uncapped on the table. Dry and lifeless.

"Live in the moment" rings its mocking bells,

But my ears won't see and my eyes won't listen.

Time won't reverse at the red light and entropy wont change its ways.

What was is now gone, my dove and golden apple.