My Best Abusive Relationship

Dear Fear,

I know this won't reach you but

I'm writing this letter as a means to an end


Once upon a time I loved you dearly

We were never apart

You made my world harmless, safe

You were my best friend


You were my only friend

All I could do was watch and want as the other kids ran on the playground

As your cold metal hands chained me to the wall and whispered,  

"It's not safe just stay with me"


And I stayed

I knew you only wanted what was best for me

So I believed in you


Even when you stitched my mouth shut

Cutting off my air supply completely

Preventing me from speaking out for myself


Even when you told me that I was a failure

So that I would never try anything new

Forever scared of getting hurt  


I believed in you

Because I loved you

And I knew that you would always love me


Until the day you told me that I was unlovable

That people like me didn't deserve a happily ever after

You left, and I was left broken for it


Without you I was numb

A lifeless husk void of all emotion

I clung to the memories of you


Trying to make something out of nothing

I could still feel your phantom hands wrapped around my throat

Could still feel the hold you had over me


But when I was drowning in you I was saved

A man by the name of Bravery helped me find my fighting spirit

Let me believe in myself and not your lies


And I realized that I hadn't been in love with you at all

Just the idea of the safety you provided

I think I'm finally over you


Now when I wake up Bravery lies beside me

Takes my hand and guides me towards a brighter future

I rarely think of you because now I know I don't need you to be whole


Because I realized that living with Fear is not living at all

And whenever I start to miss you I remember this simple truth

Having you hurt me more than losing you ever will



The Victim You Couldn't Control



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