empathy

communication

compassion

and love

 

simple skills

that have been slipping away

ive been whisking away

through the cracks in the cold stone

in the vast ruins of

my psyche

 

absorbed within

itself

obsessed with

itself

 

pacing past the great ornate

spires

ive built inside the mind

cage

letting out little laughs into the lonliness

sending echoes

to dance a mocking dance

a reverberation off the walls

a subtle reminder

of how truly small

i am

 

my own voice laughing at me

as if it truly knows how alone i am

 

how little all these attempts

have meant

 

when there is no one to let

in

 

no one to see the empire

to know of the great spires

ive built

ive built within myself

 

absorbed within

myself

obsessed with

myself

 

yet still somehow i hate myself

and all that ive created

 

because i gaze upon my empire

and the feeling of disgust is pervasive

because the spires

are crumbling

and the things that im

building

grow gnarled and sickly

with age

or i find i knock them down

in fits of rage

because nothing seems to stand up right

in my mind

cage

 

and im coming to the realization

a revealing reflection

of who i am

 

egocentric

self loathing

unrelatable

masochistic

emotionally drastic

 

crumbling

crushed under the

cold stones

 

of my

mind spires

 

not so great anymore

now that its killing me

now that

i cant see

the forest for the trees

 

now that i realize

 

these spires

were built in spite

in isolation

 

built in the solitude of my nights

when my fear

burned

and

burned most bright