Increasing my laughter eyes full of tears invisibly

Heart shouting help
Limiting at my ears
Can't be spoken out loud

Faded destiny
My quest fades in the deep of away
Embellishing my pain with smile
Held contempt of my anguish
Slicing through the bitter fruit of life

Once I smile with parts entirely
Sing and dance to the rhythm of joy
Where jubilant will was my toy
Friends never gone
And family never told of my imperfections

The past held a placard of difference
Rendered visibly to dilute blooms into my peaceful substance
Accelerating on high engines to overtake my particle
Am waving to show I still love
Right at the moment it turns the curve flowing onto the streets of long gone

Now tough storms marches with father's amour
The chains of a ravaging relation
Keep my turns at the wrath of a mental
Exclusive of my part I whimper with fainted anger

Should I send my zest in a mail of scenes
Curse I it will be seen
Father hearts no more

Acquaintance encounter counters me not
Home peppers the taste of my appetite
Questions of a violation to be born here
Mighty has his reasons
Am convinced to question not

Penurious attributes grabbed me with its claw of misery
Detecting not the force pulling me into the nest of impoverishment
Losing every essence
Now am a feature of patience

As each breaks
It breaks me more
Leaving joy as a challenge
And inner peace a struggle

Riddled with self destruct and a Bleeding life
Amplified by illness and danger
A result of something not thought of
But felt in the engine of my emotions

Dumb and careless
Shabby and ugly
Naive and shy
Foolish and cruel
Those are my names now
Never attached to my handle
Called by those as if the birth with me

Never thought life would be stingy with joy
Never thought destitution would be employed
Never thought levee would hold back my tears
Thought never that jinx would steer my mind to care worn

Alcoholic magnet now attracts mom's appetite made of metal
She bleeds her integrity and spits her self esteem
Not the garage of inspiring dignity I use to know
Whipped and stung by the tragedies of life
She loose grip of her every strike back
Tears as a river banks at her lashes
Her sight behold blur
No strength of heart to hold
They flow down the shivering cheeks of hers

Life pathetic and cold
No shield among my collects
My body waved continuously in split seconds
Quivering to the sunny snow activated

Words only explain a gist of my agony
My heart detain my pain not to be shown at face
The past better days are greeted by antiquity
Can't see them even in dreams

Does pain contain lunacy
Does this means eternity
Case that is a test of strength
My blood absorb my veins in decrepitude
My strength is getting scarce on the market of life
Only patience I sit on to wonder the future
Only time cares about me now