I am confusing.

Like a deep sea current.

I change direction, rapidly, swiftly

Left

Then right.

My mind a sea of spiraling thoughts

And fast-tracked dreams.

 

I am hypocritical.

Among others, a mouse.

On my own, a lion.

Serious, then relaxed

Emotional, then empty.

Like how the tide rises and falls

Leaving a beach full, then barren.

 

I am a dreamer.

Filled with heart-soured thoughts.

Full of adventure, mystery

Heartache, frustration

Tragedy, and loneliness.

As my fingers string these into words

My mind wanders, pulling and placing them

Into an intricate mosaic of passion.

 

I am scared.

These thoughts, that swirl inside my mind

Can change forms, can strike fear instead of hope

Emptiness instead of passion

Worthlessness instead of empowerment

Angst, instead of joy.

They linger, they multiply.

 

I am exhausted.

The thoughts are growing

Getting darker, lasting longer.

My fingers ache, my heart is barren

I stare at a blank page.

 

I am determined.

I wipe my tears and write anew

A blank page of opportunity,

I learn, I grow

I linger, get brighter.

I’ll start my work of art

Hoping to finish someday.