I am confusing.
Like a deep sea current.
I change direction, rapidly, swiftly
My mind a sea of spiraling thoughts
And fast-tracked dreams.
I am hypocritical.
Among others, a mouse.
On my own, a lion.
Serious, then relaxed
Emotional, then empty.
Like how the tide rises and falls
Leaving a beach full, then barren.
I am a dreamer.
Filled with heart-soured thoughts.
Full of adventure, mystery
Tragedy, and loneliness.
As my fingers string these into words
My mind wanders, pulling and placing them
Into an intricate mosaic of passion.
I am scared.
These thoughts, that swirl inside my mind
Can change forms, can strike fear instead of hope
Emptiness instead of passion
Worthlessness instead of empowerment
Angst, instead of joy.
They linger, they multiply.
I am exhausted.
The thoughts are growing
Getting darker, lasting longer.
My fingers ache, my heart is barren
I stare at a blank page.
I am determined.
I wipe my tears and write anew
A blank page of opportunity,
I learn, I grow
I linger, get brighter.
I’ll start my work of art
Hoping to finish someday.