Magic in a Name

I have doubts every time
You know I do
But I can’t stop falling into the void that is you
And even if I am absolutely sure that my poor heart
Will break, each and every time
I would still choose you, again and again
Yes I remember
The broken promises of days passed
And I think of them
And I cry for them
But dwelling on the past never did me any good
My window is cracked at night to let out bad dreams
I charge my crystals with the moon and place them under my pillow
I draw sigils in black sharpie all over my arms and
I think of you
A kind of magic I cannot conjure
A walking daydream
what am I to compare?
and I understand that is not your reasoning but damn
You have something
I know you do
Some spell or rune or herbs you use
That bewitch the hearts of unsuspecting lovers
Strings of fate tied
I keep bouncing back to the first time
To the last time
To the 8 am and the late at night
To the cracked iPod I hid under my pillow
To the Polaroids in the envelope I never sent
To the pages and pages of everything I’ve ever felt — I think
I think you unlocked me
You freed me you released me
The caged bird sings because he knows someone has the key maybe you
Were my key maybe you
Don’t want that kind of responsibility no one wants
That kind of responsibility I’m sorry but
If someone introduces themselves
With your name
I laugh and turn away
Because you
Are the only one
Who can bear it
Like a shield
like a sword
like a banner
Like magi

This poem is about: 
Me
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