mac n cheese

when he says you are no longer the one he wants to kiss
there will be a light switch that goes off in your chest.
your ribs are going to break one by one and the shards are going to crumble into each other like buildings falling to the ground
your arms are going to be an abandoned house that night, that week, that month, that year
you will howl and collapse like a dying star and remember that he was the earth and you will continue to heave even after your body can no longer shed any more tears
there will be salt water on your pillow, in your hair, and on your mother’s shoulder as she tells you that it hurts but then it gets better but you know that it won’t as you clench your pillowcase with your fists wondering what is to look forward to if you no longer have the crook of his shoulders to fall into at the end of the day
you are going to remember things vividly when he says goodbye. you are going to remember the way he watched your face during the first snowfall of the winter. you are going to remember standing in front of the ocean with him at the end of the earth and telling his mother how much he loves you. you are going to remember the flavor of his lips, the color of his eyes when the sun first starts to rise in the summer, you are going to remember how he hurt when you hurt
you are going to want to become a part of the earth
but what you must remember is that the earth is already within you. 
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