Love, as seen from inside a disorder
Your body is my safe haven.
I'm craving the sweetness of your skin on my lips craving
the taste of love and living.
I talk about you too much, name rolls off of my
lips like my resistance rolls away at your touch.
I talk about you too much, make a fool out of myself because your
story is the only book I take off the shelf anymore bought
tickets to the same show again tonight
bough tickets to a movie I didn't want to see just to
have you next to me.
my body rarely relaxes,
but have I ever told you that my joints dont hurt when I'm wrapped in your arms,
have I ever told you my joints don't hurt when I'm curled up in your arms,
have I ever told you that theres no pain when you're pressing me into the mattress.
Have I ever told you that your body is my most effective pain killer yoour voice
is my
favorite flavor of anti-depressant,
urges lose urgency when you're next to me,
My chest tightens as I write this and theres tears in my eyes because I just realized
I need you.
just realized that you are the soft spot to my sharp life.
I wish I wasn't made of broken glass, we touch and you are unaware that my soul is bare
and so sharp and you could cut yourself so easily but we embrace so carefully the mesh of flesh and
my broken glass body leaves no scars.
it is my birthday and you are playing with my siblings and I love you and you are beautiful, so dark, so soft, so kind
for a momentI believe I can see our whole future stretched out in front of us, and there you are,
our child in your arms there you are, so much more than the sum of your parts
so much more than anyone ever told you, did anyone ever tell you you were worth so much more than words could expresss
I watch you undress and you are uncomfortable in your skin
and I want to kiss every crease and curve and like my tongue skip along each firing nerve
Let your body be more than I deserve.
I dont believe in magic
but some days I can see our future stretched out like a red carpet
and it is red like blood and red like wine and red like roses
And I see you
dancing in my kitchen
and I see you, stumbling into my room,
exhaustion in your eyes and your heart on your sleeve and
I see you
asleep in my arms with the other sister playing in the back ground
and though my legs are falling asleep I do not wake you.
How come yours is the only touch that soothes instead of seers?
You're the only mystery I don't need an answer to,
the only problem I dont want solved.
You're the only mystery I dont need an answer to, the only problem I don't want solved .
You're a disorder I dont want diagnosed because no description could ever come close to proper classification
you are a seperate location from the kind of reality I live in, you are a vacation from being myself
Baby you're the only pain killer that ever gave me any relief
loving you is the only form of worship in which I put my faith
You make me want to be a worse person because I know you'll love me anyhow
and it doesn't make sense but neither do you and neither do we and
its okay
I love that.
no explanation, just exploration,
love with no disclamier
love with no exposition and no explaining
love with no exposition, no explaining, no training, no explaining
just two women
being awful
being beautiful
being their best and their worst and you are the first time I bothered to quit looking for a reason behind the rhythm of your heart beat and just laid my head against your chest and
relaxed