Because I love you, I sigh and take the food, refusing to eat.

Because I love you, a fake smile, as you kiss her, I do fake.

Because I love you, I’m trying to be happy, I’m trying to change!

I love you, I swear it, I love you enough, that I’m hiding the stains.

 

But just how much am I willing to lose for the thing I call “love”

When I look at you, all I see is you wanting more; I’m not enough.

When I come over yet again just to find another girl laying in your bed.

But when I think of losing you, it hurts so much, and fills me with dread.

 

Because I love you, I’ve become a pro at forgiving and forgetting.

Because of you, such heart wrenching pain, to me I’m letting

Happen and maybe it’s not safe, maybe I deserve so much more,

But because I love you, I listen to the “It won’t happen again” that you swore.

 

How much longer will I allow myself to die, to hurt over you, I again ask myself,

But I’m afraid that I can’t live without you, so that thought I put back on the shelf.

You’ve tunneled your way into my mind, and on my consciousness, you pressured, put a strain,

You took and took, tore at my self esteem. I find myself reeling,I can’t remember my own name.  

 

But because I love you, I convince myself that it won’t happen next time, won’t happen again,  

That I won’t stand before you, see the contempt you hold for me, and hold my head in shame.

You love me, right? That’s what you say after you’ve exchanged swings, are done yelling at me.

I keep coming back, keep believing you, but how long will I believe it, how stupid can one girl be?

 

Tears fill my eyes, as you walk out the door, you said you don’t wanna love me anymore.

The bruises that lace my face and wrists make me wonder if you meant anything you said before.

The way you treated me, makes my legs weak, as I slide down the wall, onto the cold floor.

Cold, as I clutch at it, trying to find some sort of grip, as I cry out, and I find it’s you I abhore.

 

Because I am trying to now love me, I’m trying to find the very best right now,

Because I am willing myself to, I try to find who I am, to myself I make a vow.

A vow to never let anyone treat me in the same way that you did for so long,

Because I learned to love myself, I finally can see how bad it was, how wrong.

 

I met him today, as he held the door open, a soft, warm, honest smile on his face,

And I wonder, if time sent me an angel to make up for all of the bad that took place.

A little smile crosses my lips, as I fancy myself at said thought, finding it farfetched and a little silly,

And fancy him with a date, but freeze mid step, when he hands me his jacket, because it’s “chilly.”

 

Because I’m finally seeing what love is, I let him in, even if it isn’t all at once, all of a sudden

Because he’s gentle, soft, caring, he shows me, that love isn’t you and I break, my eyes flooding

With tears I thought had been used up after you said I was revolting, and you could no longer stay

But he doesn’t get angry like you had, he holds me close, and brushes them away.

 

Sobs shudder through my body, as I look at him, and wonder if he is anything like you

But he just smiles, kissing my cheek and holding me close; things you never would do

The anger I’d expected never comes, as he whispers soft encouragement in my ear,

And slowly he begins to tear down walls, and rid me of what’s left from you-- the fear

 

Because he loves me, he would never treat me the way you decided to,

And I wish you the best, but truly, never again, do I wish to ever see you.

Because he loves me, he proves it, every day, regardless of how much it takes,

Because he loves me, unlike you he chooses to stay, regardless of the stakes.

 

And for once, the smile on my face is genuine,

As he whispers, and tucks his hands in mine.

The laughter echoes in that room, happy and bright,

As the two of us stand here, you in black, I in white.

 

Because we love each other,

And a soft smirk and giggle from both of us escapes

As the rings slip onto our fingers

As a kiss is placed on my lips, at last I am safe.