I look in the mirror and see the little girl that was so excited about growing up and I wonder what she would think of me now with tears in my eyes and cuts on my thighs. 

I can’t help but think about how disappointed she would be in me. I let her down. 

She had dreams for the future. Astronaut, figure skater, teacher it all seemed so bright. But that light blew out.

Much like the birthday candles, she makes a wish on each year. But I’ve stopped wishing on the candles because what’s the point if you don’t want to make it to your next birthday. 

She thought her teenage years would be spent kissing boys and wearing makeup. Transforming herself into whatever she wanted. I guess she got her dream because each day I transform into the happy girl with the perfect life. Hiding behind the fake smile that’s so easily plastered on my face. 

The little girl never imagined she would be texting her friend’s paragraphs on why there needed on this earth as the tears trickle down her own face and while her friends may need those words, she’s saying them because she needs to hear them as well.

And she thought her biggest enemy was her school bully she didn’t know that it would end up being herself. 

I look in that mirror and wonder what happened to that little giddy girl. Oh, how I pity her.