i can't explain, but let me apologize.
i know i worry you when i cry like that,
when water floods my eyes whenever i look up,
when my voice breaks before i say one word.
i'm sorry because i can't explain these actions.
the week has been difficult for me,
new adjustments and daily stress,
but it's something more.
the anxiety and depression make breathing so difficult,
so tiring and exhausting.
i can be laughing one minute,
but when i face time alone, light diminishes along with my smile.
you only want to know what's wrong;
i promise i would tell you, if i even knew.
finally everything hit me in the stomach,
so hard that i sputtered out whimpers and tears streamed.
i don't think i've ever cried like that,
over nothing at all.