Im unraveling my brain in hopes that someone may come along pick it up and piece me back together. I could call her my doctor and I her Frankenstein. Like a puppy following her every trace because the ground that she graces is held higher than my own life. I have all this love in my heart, but at the instant sight of she could be something more I forget which way was up and down and most basic human emotions. I could have her sitting right in front of me and as soon as I lose myself in her oceans I lose my self in my self and tie this noose around the part of my brain that tells me this may be the one. Something about the word love that makes me think of you so I smile, makes me think how I'd feel after you, so it turns into a contorted juncture of facial muscles that say doubt, failure, loneliness, and love.
Sometimes the thought of not having you is often less painful then the thought of having you.
So I use these arms like a cattle prod and fight off any idea of us being together. When the only thing I ever wanted was for us to be together.