Letter to "Mommy"

Dear Mommy,

I'm sorry I ran all your boyfriends away, and completely disregarded your feelings.
I wanted to jump and pull on the net of the basketball globe that Jayden had bought.
I wanted to learn how to play catch and pitch while ignoring the feelings you caught.
I wanted to learn how to throw a spiral while everything spiraled out of control. I fought.
I bobbed and weaved my way into a box that you called privacy.

You almost ringed my neck.
That was the last time I tried to play sports.

 

I'm sorry for running all your boyfriends in the dirt, and for not being able to realize that you were hurt.
Whenever I was hurt, you would kiss the boo boo away.
Every kiss begins with "K" and you was with Khalid at the time.

I guessed he took your hurt away.
I told his two sons I hated every sport. His kids thought I was kidding because I was still a child.
After a while, I could tell that they didn't like me.
One day, I got beaten up by bullies and they were friends with his sons. I told you they did it and then Khalid was gone.

I was just kidding...
That was the last time I lied.

I'm sorry for being the reason why you can't keep a man.
The man of your dreams and I should be able to work together hand in hand.
I should also accept him and his kids, I understand.
But Evan was different; with that high paying job and that big mansion, how could I forget?
He spoiled you with diamonds and considerate gifts.
He spoiled me with video games and toys and paid me so much attention.
He made us a happy family and there was no tension!
But after catching him in bed with another woman, there was a question to ask.
I heard of "happy girl, happy world" but does happiness really have a price tag?
He splurged a thousand dollars on me to keep my mouth shut.
Nine months had passed since the birth of our secret. Then came the day its water had broke.
After hearing him tell you "your the only one for me" I had to break my silence.
I told you what he did and you accused me of lying.
When we both caught him in bed with the woman from before, you fought them both.
After pawning your diamonds and moving to a new house, you refused to speak to me for two days.
That was the last time I snitched.

I'm...I'm sorry that...I drove Dad away when I was born.
As quick as it was for y'all love for each other to form;
It was just as quick for that love to be torn,
By me.
Y'all were high school sweethearts, and you both got accepted to the same college.
You both thought y'all love just might last forever after all.
Y'all made love on graduation night and that red plus transformed your life.
It cost you his loyalty and granted you with neglected child support calls.
You never started college.
That was the last time you spoke to him.
I'm sorry that your love life was ruined by me.
Maybe after I'm gone...
You'll finally be free.

Love,
Your Burden
 

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
Our world

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