Lessons Learned as a Teen

My father does not care

About how I feel

I'm his Pillsbury doughboy

To do with as he will


And if I resist

I will be placed in a headlock

Because he should be able to do he wants

And not be asked to stop


My mother does not care

About how I feel

If my emotions are not expressed with virility

They shouldn't be real


I am simply to be

My father's emulation

And what makes me me

Should reach stagnation


Nearly 20 years later

I have much to undo

I recently remembered that the control trickled down

To even the way I held a spoon


Scratch that - cutlery

That life was incredibly  real

And I never received tangible or spiritual compensation

From such a raw deal


And my queerness

Was to be concealed and denied

It's no wonder I barely had friends

When even to myself I lied


I might have been told that I was unique

But I was made to feel like a curse

A burden to be looked after and isolated

And upon my parents' eventual death- left for worse


The experience - ghastly

The lesson - grotesque

And now I must spend my life

Attempting to rectify the mess


This poem is about: 



Sending you love. Beautiful writing. Yes, me too, much to un-do, to re-learn, to live

a wonderful, meaningful life bringing the whole of who I am into the light. Your poem is my gift today. Thank you. 


You're welcome

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