A lack of colour

Location

United Kingdom

The world now in a state of despair. Uncertainty, ominous, something sinister in the air

Allurement and beauty, a lack of attraction. Human beings, walking corpses, how they fear their contraction

Preservation, bulk buying, they feel they deserve. Stepping over the poor, leave another to subserve

The compass now broken, freedom finally here. Nowhere to run, social-media retains fear

Death by numbers, young or old, afraid the latter must go, the NHS already sold

A lack of colour in life, sorrow suddenly dawn's. Hysteria by the masses, the world helplessly mourns

Harrowing winds and dark clouds above, the black bird squawks and all remains is dust.

This poem is about: 
My community
My country
Our world
Guide that inspired this poem: 

Comments

Annette M Velasquez

Very honest, vivid and emotional. You have expressed the state of our world accurately and with great articulation. The rhyme enhanced the meaning. My only slight critique, is that with rhyme it should be uniform; variance throws off the flow of the poem. Throughout the beginning there is perfect rhyme, despair- air, deserve- subserve; then you change to imperfect rhyme, dawns- mourns and at the very end- there is not even what would be considered imperfect rhyme, from " harrowing winds " onward. Read the poem aloud to yourself and listen to the sound, the rhythms. Your message is powerful as can be- but use all poetic devices- rhyme, rhythm, imagery, metaphor, emotion, word choice, etc.

Aether87

Wow, thank you Annette! So very kind of you to take the time to read and provide such helpful feedback. This is very encouraging :) thanks again

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