my love to inspire young people remains to be endless

it all began when I facilitated a presentation about the male empowerment program

you were there, you were present when i resonated the importance of inspiring young men to be greater

you didn't buy in to my philosophy for whatever reason 

only you know

but then, afterwards, i remember you wanted to have a sidebar with me

you asked me how can my program benefitted you

all i said was to rewrite your own history, and create your own legacy

those inspirational deliberation was deliver to you like the good word from the bible 

it lit a fuse to your soul that solidify hope that dreams come true 

it altered your perception in thinking i was just some boring cat providing a boring lecture

and you took a chance to sign up for my program

the moment of truth awaited when i called you to confirmed intake appointment

i heard your voice in assuring that you'll be there

but you never showed up

i wondered why

i called up to find out if everything was cool

your mom told me that you're on house arrest for selling drugs

my body felt numbed momentarily in disbelief

my mind was thinking in all directions

i was just telling your mom, i just spoke to you

none the less, i didn't pass judgement

it's easy to kick somebody when you're down

i wasn't going to do that, it inspires me to connect

though i never walk into a situation blindly

i knew what i was up against, this is why i love what i do

it's untaught and comes from within

i look forward to meeting you and stepdad during home visit

this was my chance to tap into your brain that was fogged with bad decision circulating stupidity to your vulnerable being

i'm glad i met stepdad, once again, you weren't there

i wondered, what happened this time

and then stepdad became the author in telling a story that's common, but tragically horrific

of all days, you and your mom had a fight on christmas day

a heated argument about something you wanted to do and your mom told you no

just the word no ignited a battery charge to your back

where you felt the need to be a big man in a little kid's body

you walked out 

the next day, you came back with cops creating another story for the media to write about regarding a person of color fulfilling society's stereotype

PINS was in order, Order of Protection became the shield of your mom's armor 

your presence was unwelcomed

next thing i heard is that your a member of the crips

you're a crip indeed-cripple for life if you don't leave

not the life brother

the acceptance you're looking for is in the wrong hands

the same hands that is spilled with blood

the same hands that is tired from firing off rounds 

with rival gangs over territory in claiming neighborhoods that they never built in the 1st place

how stupid does it sound?

all you are to them is an expendible body waiting to implode when the block gets really hot

they don't care about you, the sooner you get it, the better off you're going to be

before i left, i gave your stepdad the application that represents a one way ticket that won't lead to your own grave, waiting for your name to be carved in stones

i also told your dad to pray for your sins, and wherever you are, you're in a safe place

my door is open to you if you want to open it

how can you open it if you're nowhere to be found

so i ask, keshawn, where are you my brother?