There are not enough words

in our language to describe it.

Not a passage, nor a verse,

can explain what's inside me.

It's like a candle in my heart;

and what once was so dark

is now shining so bright

it could extinguish the night.

 

A middle name shared,

a family torn in two.

Kawika, my growing boy,

this is not about you.

The love that's in my heart

has been my guide from the start

but I fell victim to these thoughts,

my world was bound to fall apart.

 

I wake up every day

asking myself what I can do.

What can I do for myself?

What can I do for you?

My beautiful baby boy

needs more than just his toys.

He needs me to be strong,

and I tried for so long.

 

An old demon that I have fought

has reared it's ugly head.

So many tears, so many thoughts

tossing and turning in my bed.

Medicine could never help

pain like this I've never felt

but Daddy is ready baby boy,

one look at you and all is well.

 

I look to you and I can smile,

I feel your love and I can see

that this life is bigger than this.

Bigger than you, bigger than me.

I wake up knowing you're around

no greater strength can be found

than the strength that's in your heart

and even when we're apart..

 

I can feel you all around me

I can hear your little voice.

Just know that Daddy loves you too, Kawika.

My beautiful baby boy.