It hurts, but I like that it does

I can focus on the lines of broken skin and the piercing of the pin

I can focus on the snap of the band and the bruising of red welts

I can focus on the bite of the cold and the ache in my bones

I can focus on the emptiness and the cravings I won't fufill

I can focus on the hand on my throat and the beat of my heart

It hurts, but I like that it does

I don't like seeing it fade away

I don't like that the swelling disappears

I don't like the blood flow evening out

I don't like the nausea that follows in being full

I don't like when it's over and I'm flooded with thoughts alongside oxygen 

I like that it hurts, but I like that it does

So don't make me let it go