Trust.

Defined as the assured reliance on the character, ability, or truth of someone or something.

Trust is Knowing that what you believe in, what you put your hope in

will not abandon you

But you never really know what's actually true

I trust a lot of people and take lots of chances but I never thought that a couple quick glances could impact my circumstances

My stance on this topic was never quite so cut and dry.

Didn’t have the self-control to put the phone down and just shut up and drive.

But all the while –

 I still felt guilty.

I promise my mom I won’t text while in the car, but before I even back out the driveway, my phone is already in my hand. Wow, fail. I didn’t get very far.

Suddenly my phone beeps and peeks my interest, “Oh, I’ve got an update from Pintrest.”

And before I even shift from reverse into drive my face is illuminated by an LED screen.

I’m sitting at a red light finishing my reply when the light turns green.

What do I do? Finish up the last little bit, telling my mom that “I love you”.

Man why don’t you put down the phone so you can tell her yourself.

I’m sure she’d rather have you in person tell her how much you care

than a text that says I love you mom, reminding her all the time why her baby girl isn’t there.

I’m playing with my life because of that phone in my hands.

I just have to reply, send that last text you understand.

Not paying attention, I ain’t looking ahead. Instead, I got that tunnel vision. I’m too wrapped up in playing temple run.

Not looking in my rear view mirrors. Caused me to bring to life my worst fears.

That my life was a wreck because of that car wreck. That I couldn't get on with my life. I’d always stall out every time I try to shift gears.

I couldn't do anything. I kept on idling along.

Just sitting in neutral, nothing new about this situation.

I couldn’t stop the neutrality.  

The reality of the road is-I'm not the only one there. 

I keep on driving and texting, putting other’s lives in danger but I didn’t really care.

You’d think I’d learn my lesson from what happened to my sis. When her car collided with that tree and she shared in death’s cold kiss.

Can you be angry at someone who’s no longer among the living?

Sometimes I hate my sister for being so selfish. She always takes, I never see her giving. Taking anything she wants, even her own life. Why did you leave me?

Emotions swell inside my soul. I try to blot out the pain and wipe away my tears but I still feel miserable. 

See I was left to try to understand how someone could be so essential to your life but never really living like they need to think twice.