Ignore Me

The act of ignoring someone is: refusing to take notice of or acknowledge them   When you're ignored, you learn to live in a world of silence. You learn to not speak, to silence you opinion, and muffle your thoughts.   And when your thoughts are caged what are you?   You're a phantom smear of grey against the colorful canvas of the world.   You're that lightning bug that shines so damn bright until you are smothered in a jar because they forgot to give you air. You're fading into a desolate void that's sucking you up and refusing to let go.   You're being ignored.   Being ignored is accompanied by its friend called sadness; who's a total bitch that likes gripping your heart and slowly shredding it to pieces.   Being ignored is one of the worst feelings in the world.   It's like a tsunami of poisonous gas that will suddenly wash over you but deliberately take its time in suffocating you, driving you insane because you just want it to be over with.   And when you want it to be over with, you become desperate.   Desperate enough to take a box cutter to your wrists with the hope that words will spill out of your family's mouths like the red elixir spilling out of your veins. They do, though the words are saying you're going to a therapist and you're fine with it, because they see you.   Until you never make it to the office because they forgot.   Desperate enough to take your entire personality and twist and refine it to meet other people's needs and views until you're nothing but a fragmented, deformed version of yourself. A version that has to paint a new mask on every night to cover the holes and hide the cracks.   And then they finally decide to just throw the mask away.   You’re being ignored again.   And being ignored doesn't feel very good does it? It feels like you're being stuffed into a Jack in the Box and finally when you can't take it anymore, you burst out and scare everyone, for nothing though, because they just shove you back into the box.   Back into a world of muffled thoughts and silence.

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