I Wish I Had Held Your Hand
Hey little brother, I watched you grow before my very eyes
I tried to protect you and your little heart from the lies
I think back to when you were 5 and my tears flow
The things that were going on, how could you know?
You always looked up to me, if I could go back I’d hold your hand
Now I’m looking up to you, you’re already a man
If I had known what I know now, I would have fought to my last breath
To give you the life you deserve, and I wouldn’t stand for less
The sadness in your little face cuts my heart to pieces
They’d tell us to be strong and you’d look at me and say he is
You were so scared you’d run after me wherever I’d go
But I’d push you away so that I could be alone
If I had another chance I swear I’d be better because I understand
You were just a child and you had no one to hold your hand
Brother I’m so sorry can I ask that you forgive me
It hurts every time I leave you, I just wish that you were with me
Because every time I leave, I can’t help but to remember
The look on your face when Mom left in December
You were so lost, you’d look around with eyes full of confusion
No kid should ever have to be in the places that you’ve been
After that you’d copy every little thing that I would do
And I’d get so mad, I just wish I’d been worthy of you
If only I were stronger, and If only I was smarter
I would have made sure that you didn’t grow up without a father
I wouldn’t have been afraid to defend you against their words
I would have squared my shoulder and carried all of the hurt
I wouldn’t have listened to and cared what they said
I would have covered you and took the abuse instead
The times you were caught lying because you were scared
I should have stood in front of you I should have been there
All that pain gone now, all those times past
Once you were a child but you grew up so fast
I love you brother and I hope you understand
Just how much I wish that I had held your hand