When I was a newborn, it was Mommy.

When I was six, it was to be "a big girl."

When I was fifteen, it was freedom.

Now -

I thought I knew who I was.

I thought I knew what I wanted.

But now I am lying

to you, to me.

I'm changing.

I go to sleep

hating myself,

I wake up with new conviction -

it's gone by noon.

I thought I knew who I was,

but if I don't…

How can I know what I need?