I thought I was prepared for

what I'd not truly felt yet.

The fights numbed my hurt

and the lack of sleep froze my heart.

I left you for good reason.

I couldn't take another year,

much less another season of you.

My ambivalent emotional state bore holes in me.

Holes, I still bleed from.

I thought I was prepared for leaving you.

I thought moving on would be easy.

After the unteenth sleepless night,

I left, and I was free.

But here I am,

in misery.