I just wanted to write and say,

In case you ever wonder or are filled with regret 

or In case your heart decides

to change after asking fro forgiveness or in case you go to your parole officer who finds you aren't quitting your bad habits and you are carried swiftly out to a cold cell of handcuffs and cruelty and I never see you again-

I just wanted to say, Goodbye my friend, my dear and former friend. I just wanted to confess how much I trusted you before I learned to sleep with a loicked door thanks to a shared space with you. 

Thank God I was made to be strong enough which I grew and could see my needs, and thank God I buried you into the back of my mind where nothing comes out again. And yet, it's unfair isn't it? 

Our memories will always be there they don't ever really go away.

Trauma is a scar: It's permanant. And even the hurt I thought was gone still flickers in my eyes. Like lightning while I'm swimming in thr sea I am alone with no land in sight. Right in the despair waiting for sharks to arrive and eat my memories.