I Just Want To Be Happy

Thu, 09/11/2014 - 22:02 -- bre543

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with emotion
The sheer force gives me pounding headaches
And aches caused by a pain that isn’t physical
Brings the start of tears to my eyes
I just want to be happy

As a high school senior applying to university
I wonder if I’m smart enough
I ponder giving up
And then I immediately revoke the thought
I must do what is expected of me and attend college
I must get a degree in science or math
That’s where the jobs are
You can’t major in English
You won’t make any money, but
I just want to be happy

There’s a boy that I want to make smile
I know I can make him grin
It’s one of the things I want most in the world
But the thought never crosses his mind
And there’s a boy who wants to make me smile
He tries so hard to get my attention
And I feel what he feels and I know what he knows
Still, he’s not what I want
I just want to be happy

I have a mother who will never do enough
A sperm donor for a father
My spoiled, materialistic sister and I get along well
Other members have quirks of various degrees
Some have none at all
Understanding family is a daunting and possibly impossible task
I decided not to undertake it
Leaving might be the best thing for me because
I just want to be happy

My best friend can’t relate to me
The circle will never understand me
Never seeing eye-to-eye with people
Gets tiring very fast
Nobody knows the right things to say
Why say anything?
But I can’t be alone with my thoughts
Social interaction is a temporary distraction from sadness
I just want to be happy


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