I had a strange dream last night,
I was a cop in a lengthy firefight
I was scared and the long awaited back up was just not coming
Bang! Bang! The shots rang!
And all my mind kept shouting was “run Charles run!”
So I entered the truck and tried to drive off,
But the engine of the government vehicle stalled! The eighth time this week
And in my strange dream me and the boys died,
Because the ‘fraidy cops wouldn’t come to back us up,
And some cheap ass politician wouldn’t authorize funds for better vehicles

I had a strange dream last night where I was a prison warden
Who smiled as he turned straight men into women
As he stroked his baton as if masturbating
And yelled orders as if his life depended on it
In my dream I castrated men to prove I was the boss
And transferred in the night anyone who questioned me

I had a strange dream last night where I kept dying and resurrecting
I died and resurrected so many times it made Jesus envious
One time I was a saint, the other a criminal
Once a professor and once the village lunatic everyone avoids
Once Muslim, once Christian and once Buddhist
Once white, once Chinese and once black
Yet all those times I was just a man.
Who ate and shat, who lusted and shagged
I was always just a man

I had a strange dream last night where I was God
My hand reached out to the pedophiles, rapists and the scum of the earth
And struck them to Hells so devastating it scared the very Devil himself
And good men thanked me in churches, synagogues and mosques alike
And bad men cowered in holes so dark no soul would leave
And the Devil spoke to me and beseeched me to take it easy
After all, wasn’t I the one who gave mankind freewill to do as they pleased?

I had a strange dream last night, where I was the pastor in my local church
But all in my mind were school boys and girls
As they rubbed their young breasts and bottoms in my face
I f***ed a c**t, an a** and every f***ing hole in every f***ing thing that moved
And my collar bit into my throat,
Because I was a fat f**k who couldn’t keep his filthy paws off the church coffers

I had a strange dream last night where I was the Devil…