I Don't Know What I'm Feeling
It’s around 8:30
I’m guzzling soda like beer
My room is kind of dirty
But I forgot to care
It’s been hard to care lately
About everything
Anything
At school I’m fine
But when I’m alone it gets worse
Nothing is entertaining
I kinda wanna curse
I need more freedoms
At least I hope that’s all it is
I’m too caught up
In this ‘responsibility’ shiz
Crying comes too easy
Why do I even feel sad
“You don’t have a reason to be sad”
At least that’s what she said
I know it’s true but I can’t help it
Staying up passed curfew
But it isn’t for fun
It’s not like I don’t want to sleep
But even when I can it’s never enough
I imagine my face
Bags under my eyes
And an empty space
Where my smile usually lies
But it’s only because I need more freedom
At least I hope that’s what it is
Please let that be all it is
She isn’t listening to my worries
She brushes them aside
So I put on a smile
And I forget it for a while
But when I’m alone it comes back
Like a friend you can’t escape
I just need more freedoms
I think that might be a lie