I Choose Fear

Fear is my closest friend

She knows me better than I know myself

She is loving and she is kind and she keeps what's best for me in mind as she guides me through this tumultous life

She'll stop at nothing to remind me why I'm here, and while I stand at a crossroads

She appears

"Which path scares you more?" She asks

I point to the path decorated with my wildest dreams, gleaming with a childlike vibrancy, everything I had ever seen in my craziest schemes about where I want to go and who I want to be is standing there before me

But as I look closer I see that my dreams are not alone

They are accompanied by failure, by doubt, by the potential for things just not working out, they are clouded by judgements and worry and shrouded in the sorrow of a forgotten tomorrow, I begin to run away, surely I'll come back another day, when my dreams are less daunting I'll take the leap, but for now the Fear just runs too deep, I-

Fear rests a hand on my shaking shoulder and leads me to the path that is colder, darker, starker

There are no bright colours, my wildest dreams are no where to be seen

The path is straight, and direct, and lined with large gray stones weighing down my heart that once shone so bright it illuminated even the darkest of nights

This path would be easy

This path would be safe

I could tuck all my dreams away in a cool, dry place and try not to think of them rotting there as I walk down this path of comfort and security, forgoing all of what makes me, me

"Is this what you want?" Fear gently presses

I look back to the path of my wildest dreams, and I hold my friend Fear close to me

I thank her for being my guide, for staying by my side, for softly reminding me each and every time that if I don't fear it, if it doesn't send shivers down my spine, if it doesn't light up this brilliant heart of mine

It isn't my path

Hand in hand we walk down the road that was specially crafted for me

One of magic and trust and vulnerability

This path isn't easy

This path isn't safe

But my dreams are alive, and my heart continues to shine, and my friend Fear remains by my side

I don't know what comes next

There is no plan b

But I will not sacrafice my dreams for comfort or security

I choose Fear

 

 

This poem is about: 
Me

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