Still numb. 

Nothing seems real.

From the moment I sat down.

My rapid heart beat still haunts me.

The nervous breathes I took.

Desperate, clinging to live.

Life as I knew it. 

Over. 

 

The words.

I could not speak them.

My mind still a blank in disillusion. 

What good would they do?

Your words were enough.

For you at least.

Not me.

Lost.

 

 

No sleep.

Rest is not for me.

Sleep is for the loved. 

I feel separate, an outsider.

For where do I belong?

Not here.

Alone.

 

 

Breathe.  

I can't .

Terrible truths are choking me.

Washing over me in waves.

Not a moments peace.

Gasping for air.

I stop.

Still.

 

Hope. 

Inspired thought.

Optimistic future dissolving. 

Holding onto fragments.

Violently undone.

Expired thought.

Empty.

 

Look. 

Open your eyes.

Certain dismay is awaiting.

Change your course quickly.

Now you've done it.

It's too late.

Wreck.

 

How?

All my strength.

When did this happen?

I've lost it all for nothing.

Can I become strong again?

 Now left abandoned.

Who am I now?

Changed.

 

After all of it, I still love you.