Closing my eyes I see the hands pulling me up turning into the ones pushing me down

Voices taunting me used to be the ones rejoicing me

Though it’s not the words but the mouth they tumble out of crushes my soul

Making my heart feel heavier, shoulders dragging down under the burden it carried

 

I open my eyes and dream that it was a nightmare

And I was back to the firefly catching days with my homies

Not knowing of what lies ahead and unshackled

I used to soar in the blue sky and wander about the land beyond

I used to burn brighter than the sun

 

But all I see is the bird with its clipped wings

The moon with its scars

The fallen angel and the lone man amidst the world

For I didn’t know that it takes only a moment

To become was from is, to turn friends to enemies, Family into strangers

And to be left behind with broken promises

 

Ages passed I grew up

But even today standing in the same crossroad of fate

With the question of whether to perish again or restore my dignity

I choose to stand alone

Rather than reclaim the seat beside the masked faces

Sprouting honey in light and poison in dark

I choose to be a liar than standing in favor of lies

I choose to be betrayer than go against my  belief

I choose to be a sinner, a fool, a idiot , a devil

It was I who picked the innocent over everyone

The one who went against the world and suffered so

 

Yet to this day They asked me Why I suffered for a sin not mine

They laughed at me when the one I was saving was the one who thrusted the sword at my back

And I answered let the losses and gains of mortal world remain unaccounted for

 

Now in my death bed with faded faces, blending voices

Forgotten names and a phantom ache

Remembrance of an age old wound yet not healed

I smile and say it was indeed a lesson well learnt

In front of my God I stand with head held high

With no regrets for I perished for sins not mine

For He is the One who rules above all

Knows not only of black or white but the world in its shades of grey.