I am sorry...

I am sorry that I choose the highway instead of your way

I am sorry I looked you in the eye and lied

I am sorry that I found those sites late at night and told men what I what them to do with my body and how half the words I used I didn't even know the meaning of

I am sorry…

I am sorry I can’t seem to find my way in the daylight but I move like a feline hunting its prey during the night

I am sorry the words to explain how I feel  get stuck in my dry throat but I am continually left choking on the dust of your heels as you are unable to wait for the words

I am sorry that you don’t understand that for me to ask to hang out with you is death sentence because I have been thrown away and I refuse to subject myself to more rejection than necessary

I am sorry that God saw fit to paint my skin with the darkness from the darkest of skies and causes you; the men of every creed, ethnicity, and race; confusion because it doesn’t match the WHITENESS of the English I speak

I am sorry that you are offended by the bluntness of my confession    

I am sorry for the hatred my mother has shown you, when it could have been avoid if I had done what I was supposed to

I am sorry…

I am sorry that I will NEVER be the princess, who waits for her prince to save and pave the way for her, but instead the warrior fighting for what she loves and wants

I am sorry that my silence scares you as the Bogie Man under the bed scared me during those early years

I am sorry I have not met your expectations and now that reality as set in, the fact as occurred to me that I never will

I am sorry that you see me as naive for that fact that at eighteen years of age I dream of talking animals and magical places in a world worth living in and protecting

I am sorry…. I am sorry… I…AM…SORRY

That I will never meet the expectation of the world for I refuse to become another black female statistic but rather an exception

I am sorry for leaving you but while you are worrying about the unfixable past, I am living in the present and moving forward into the foreseeable future

I am sorry but I can be any one but myself

I… am…sorry