Under surveillance

I polish the way I move

Try to look busy in order to be ignored

Approaching me anyway

He sits very close to me

As if my space is open territory

I acted as the Girl.

He acted as the Man.

As I see the hatred seep into his skin

I look to my flesh and see the same being done to mine

Only I am not aware of his trying heart

I am only aware of the afflictions he leaves

When I turn into his mirror

My words become reflective

And my eyes are replaced by his

Having trouble embracing the new found blindness

It makes me uneasy being comforted by my self-flagellation

How crawling beneath floorboards feels better than walking through hallways

Where once I was found

Now I am lost

Until fragments of clarity start to burst within me

I know I no longer have to be a host for his thoughts

The antiquated remnants of his process will still linger

But he can no longer claim my universe

I am not a human shaped apology.

I am not his failures.

I am my own.