How I Miss You (About a boy who's heart beat louder than a gunshot when he was with me)

I miss you, I really do. 
I miss the sound of your voice and your soft laughter, 
I miss my head on your chest and your smell,
it gets me the most,
I smell you in my clothes,
no matter what I do I can’t get your scent out of them, 
even if it’s physically gone I can't get it out of my brain.,
I smell you in my hair, 
and in the hallways,
I never knew how many guys wore the same cologne, 
until I met you, 
I miss your arm around me,
I miss how I felt when I was with you,
I miss the safety,
I miss your fingers in mine,
because honestly when they were intertwined,
It was the most magnificent moment, 
no matter what we were doing, 
I felt so on top of the world,
when I was able to call you mine,
A few days later and you had vanished,
You told me it wasn't going to work out between us,
and that we could still be friends,
Friends isn’t how I wanted this to end,
friends isn’t what made me smile, 
friends is what made me crash into my bed every night,
curled up under my sheets,
my hands in fists,
and a feeling in my gut that won’t go away,
friends is what made me embarrass myself in front of them,
Friends had people looking at me and whispering,
Friends gave me more questions than I knew how to ask, 
Friends are what people who don’t end up together are called, 
Friends isn't what you and I are supposed to be,
Friends doesn't make sense,
and no matter what I do, 
how hard I try,
the only way I’m able to remember you,
is the way your eyes lit up,
when you snuck that ice cream in the movie theater,
I remember your sweet voice,
when you called me so excited on a Tuesday night,
asking if I wanted to see a movie with you and your friends,
I remember your arms around me,
telling me you’ll be my seatbelt when there wasn’t one,
and your friend was driving like an idiot,
I remember you telling me about how it was at your old school,
and all I could do was smile,
because the jokes you tell are actually funny,
I remember the sound of your feet hitting the cooler,
and I remember you pointing out where you work,
like it was a gem no one else had discovered yet,
I remember the sound of a guy shouting at the back of the theater,
about a movie you and I were whispering about,
and I remember your facial expression,
when you saw my friends trying to embarrass me and you in the hallway,
and somehow, 
remembering everything good, 
I still can’t remember anything bad except the way you left.


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