I wake up

and the messages are all around me

they swirl and contradict

"Be yourself"

one says.

Another tells me

"thin is in"

but I thought

"big is beautiful"?

In the end

the mish-mash of myself

deemed acceptable by society

is a fragment.

She has never felt

the exhilerating high

of winning a robotics tournament.

She's not supposed to be too smart.

Nor

the crushing despair

of lonliness

and the pain of rejection.

Is she really me?

I do not know.