Hey Mom,

Me and dad had a talk

Honestly it left me in shock

I looked at you both differently

Almost destroyed what’s left of this family

He said it was your idea to foster

He tried everything to make your plans alter

You felt it was time to give back

For all of the blessing you didn’t lack

He said you could have only one

That was it and y’all would be done 

Somehow you ended up with more than three

A baby boy, two older sisters, and me

When Jane doe destroyed your trust

You could have returned all of us

But you only got rid her

Keeping the rest of us where you were

Dad said his heart came to a stop

When he found out about the process to adopt

He told you this wasn’t what you guys agreed upon

You were to keep us for a little then we’d be gone

You pretty much just laughed in his face

Told him he wouldn’t get his way in this case

I can’t believe you stuck it out through thick and thin

When my biological family wanted to do all but give in

Those first few years were amazing 

You guys coming into my life was a blessing

Still there is some things I just don’t understand

Please tell me what happened there towards the end

Even before you were gone we had already lost you

No one can deny it cause we all knows it true

You slipped farther away with each sip from the bottle

The addiction started real slow then went full throttle.

The life in your eyes seemed to disappear farther and farther

By the end it seemed you couldn’t even bother

But I knew the truth and how hard you tried

The never ending fight that took part on the inside

I kept swearing up and down that I would leave and never look back

But you were there for me at my lowest when I started to crumble and crack

You are the biggest piece of my heart

Even though there were a lot of times I didn’t show that part

So you can imagine the struggle after you passed away

How I hated myself for all the things I didn’t say

For nights on end I had these dreams

Where nothing was quite as it seems

I would come home from school and you’d be there in your room

You’d be happy and laughing away the gloom

You would tell us that you were just really away at a rehab facility

You had finally reached tranquility

Your demons were no longer running without borders

They were still there but you were able to maintain order

But alas in the morning when dawn had a chance to break

It was just a dream and I didn’t want to be awake

I haven’t been back to visit your final resting place

It wasn’t because I didn’t want to, that’s not the case

Many times dad said he would drive us there

But he goes back on that promise even when he swears

You would not like the new girl

She’s more like a coal, while you were a pearl

She tried to thread my eyebrows and picked at my hair

She hated all the clothes I liked to wear

She came between all the kids and dad

The fact that he lets her is kind of sad

I know I know enough complaining on my part

You’d tell me to ignore her and focus on my fresh start

It was great talking to you again 

And getting off my chest how things have been

hope you’re enjoying your time up there and the cools thing you get to do

But don’t forget all of us love and miss you